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Five: If you're over thirty and at least four years older than your date, don't be surprised if he calls you Daddy.
Take it as a compliment; do not take it as a reason to pick up the check.
Should I go ahead and tell my sister and brother-in-law that I think the guy is attracted to my nephew?
A Worried Aunt Thanksgiving, 2019: "I'm so sorry you got raped when you were 13. But I didn't say anything at the time because I was afraid your mom would yell at me. " Unless you're looking forward to making an apology like that after your nephew confronts his whole family for failing to protect him when he was a child, AWA, you should speak the fuck up.
So whether he's a Bear, Twink, Twunk, Cub, Daddy, Dilf, Otter, Chub, Gym Rat, Gym Bunny, or any of the other zillion names we give one another, only address him in generic terms, like handsome, sexy, hung.
If he's 22 years old and wears glasses and weighs 108 pounds and says "for some reason people tend to think I'm a Twink," feign surprise and say "men are so into labels." Then help him lift his martini glass to his lips and move on.
I would like you to weigh in on this situation, Dan.
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Firmly raise your concerns, AWA, but don't make accusations. It's possible that this man has no sexual interest in your nephew.
It's also possible that your nephew is gay, recently came out to his mother and father but wasn't ready to come out to his extended family, and this man is mentoring your nephew at your sister's request.
Beyond that, even if I can establish that it's OK to have an objection, or to feel the need to take some action to be supportive for my son, I don't know what I can or should do. But you're his dad and he has to hear you out — whether he wants to or not.
My 13-year-old nephew, who is straight, was in a play last year. The only problem is one of the theater group's fans, who is 50 and gay, befriended my sister and seems to be fixated on my nephew: He posts to my nephew's Facebook page, he's constantly asking my sister to allow my nephew to spend the night at his apartment, etc.