Sweet hearts dating fantasy feel
He will ignore you when it is convenient for him to do so, like going to play basketball with his friends instead of keeping his commitment with you, but he will call you later to see if you want his leftover time.
And when you want to have a spiritual life, forget doing that with him.
I think you guys would be great for each other,’ what would you say?
” “Well,” she said, “I would want to know what he is like. “He is a fun guy, but he will use you for sex and he really won’t pay attention to what you want.
“While we don’t know them, there’s definitely a connection we share as we are all looking for that one great love.
He is not interested in changing and being what you are looking for, so why don’t you get on down the road? And yet I have heard it so many times from women that I could easily believe it. You are really dissatisfied, but you have a big problem, and here it is: you are leading with your attachment to him.” “What does that mean? “It means that what is driving your dilemma is that you have an attachment to him, instead of what is important to you: your values.
” And here it came, the moment that revealed what keeps a lot of young women stuck. Whenever we let our attachments drive us or guide us, we can get into all sorts of things that don’t work well. You feel so attached to him that that is what is driving your thinking, instead of what you really want and value in a relationship.” “But I really do love him,” she said. If you were not dating anyone and I said to you, ‘Hey, Jill, I have somebody for you to go out with.
I was doing a radio show one day when a young woman called in and said she didn’t know what to do with her boyfriend. “There are some things that I just wish were different.” “That’s pretty normal.
When I asked what she meant, she said that she was struggling with whether to break up or to keep going, get more serious, and move toward marriage. No one person has everything we want,” I reasoned, wondering if she might be a little picky. ” “Well, he just doesn’t always pay attention to the relationship.
“Well, I don’t think I would be that interested,” she said. Since you are not attached to this hypothetical guy, you have no problem seeing it. “Say to him exactly what you just said to me: ‘Jason, let me tell you what is important to me and what I am looking for. So we have to break up.’ “If you say that,” I said, “then you are truly leading with your values and not letting your attachment to him get in the way. No looking back.” She told me she got it, we hung up, and I hoped she did get it. But I do know, from working with a lot of women, that if she doesn’t get it, she is in for a world of hurt.